In the comfort of my house I watch as you play with your dad, i watch the love so true btw child and father, I see the geniuety of affection. I watch how for once you display true love to one who does not know any better but receives your love and gives you more, the eyes say it all between you both, and then tears come to my eyes, even more when I hear daddy, come, I want you with me, lets play. Its all about daddy lets eat, come and bath with me, dad I love you. Then the dreams of working out of our marriage becomes unrealistic, how can I live each day knowing you wont be there for your child, how can I live each day explaining you aint here for now?, how can this be right?, how can I deprive a child so innocent so happy so loving, the experience of a father that I never had, how can I?
Then I weep because I know I will stay, I weep for my decision to stay and work it out despite the pain I feel, I put my life on hold for you my child, I live like a stranger in my own home all for you, then I wonder how long I can put up with this. The bond between you two makes me too guilty to want to walk away, but I ask how long can I endure this when you are old enough to understand? And I too weak to walk away?
I would never blame you for making me stay in future and maybe I might who knows but for now I won’t worry about tomorrow would embrace the love I see today!
Ps: will forward play this weekend.